Crazy Lady on Subway Tracks Wants to Die [VideUhOh]

A new subway hero, caught on tape! More or less. Only in New York, kids. Video below. More »

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100 Comments.

  1. @kazillion: So, *gulp* did your dog die? :(

    I had a friend in high school that took 30 and he had his stomach pumped and was fine.

    dolemite1975

  2. @Frank Grimes: Costly, but sadly enough it’d probably save at least that in fuel costs and the time that people get stuck in traffic…

    BaconSandwich thinks drum brakes are of the devil

  3. Get this woman evaluated. If she is not certifiably, clinically, bat shit crazy then put her in jail. Ridiculous! If you want to die go hot shot to the vein. Don’t scar people for life because of your dumb ass drama.

    Twink182

  4. @SnarkTard: I’m not going to ask how you know…

    BaconSandwich thinks drum brakes are of the devil

  5. @holy.crap.a.tornado: I had a friend spend some time in Montreal. He said there they would just say they were having a mechanical problem with the train doors or something like that.

    BaconSandwich thinks drum brakes are of the devil

  6. Maybe she just chillin in the shade?

    Frank Grimes

  7. Go die somewhere else so we can get back on topic at Jalopnik.

    jalopnikfan

  8. @kazillion: I just saw the design for the guard to prevent people from killing themselves. It is a 5 million dollar investment to keep people who would rather be dead from jumping to their death.

    Frank Grimes

  9. fucking drama queen. all she had to do was grab the third rail

    Hart88

  10. NSFW Audio.

    VeeArrrSix

  11. If she wanted to die, she should have grabbed the third rail. No waiting. Line forms to the left.

    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet

  12. @dequeued: You’re reading my mind. I’ve struggled with depression ever since high school, but it seemed I’d finally beaten it into submission in my early 40s. Somehow, it managed to pop back up again a month or two ago, due to work and money (or scarcity of same), and I’d had a couple of sure-fire methods lined up. One of them was to jump from the Taft Bridge which crosses over Rock Creek Parkway (oddly, unlike the Ellington Bridge just around the corner, it has no suicide barriers), but as the travel time between the bridge and the Parkway was long enough for me to change my mind on the way down, I decided on the third rail on the Red Line (Union Station’s about ten minutes’ walk from my house).

    Luckily, it’s subsided somewhat; I’ve had a gig or two come in, the money situation’s eased a bit, and I have some really good friends who I can confide in. It was a real bitch, though, for about a month; dealing with depression only gets tougher as you get older.

    Having easy, ready access to a way to kill myself helped, as I was able to confront my mortality and give some serious thought to whether I really wanted to die or not. I can remember times earlier this summer, having to take the Metro downtown to shop or to a friend’s house, standing on the platform waiting for the train, looking down at the third rail and thinking “Well, shit, man, there it fucking is. You could do it right now. You’ve got a wife and friends who love you, you’re not going to be thrown out into the street, you’re not going to lose everything, There’s tons of media activists and underground comix fans who admire and respect your work. So, take all the time you need to think about it, dude, ’cause once you do it, it’s done.” Obviously, I never did it.

    We’ve had a fair-sized rash of suicides in the Metro this year; it’s gotten to the point where, if there’s major delays and someone comes onto the PA and says something like “the situation at Cleveland Park Station has been resolved”, my first thought was sweet Jeezus, not another one! They never actually mention it, so I’m assuming that people were jumping out in front of moving trains. I could never figure out why the hell they want to do it like that, so that their friends or loved ones have to go downtown and identify their friend/husband/wife/child who’s crushed and bloody and sliced into pieces. It sounds horrifically painful. There’s also no necessary guarantee it’ll work; you could just end up being horribly maimed for the rest of your life. Third rail’s definitely the way to go; just WHAM, ZAP, finito.

    OK, I’ll stop now.

    flugennock

  13. @kazillion: Is he okay?

    perouze

  14. @thatgirlinnewyork: Aw man, I’m at work so can’t watch with the sound on. Does someone really say that?

    dolemite1975

  15. Bitch! you’re not gonna shut down the train route today, get your butt off the track is what the dude was thinking, lol.

    Darksider1972

  16. Lol man I miss Harlem. I like the girl who throws her drink on her. “Go die elsewhere!” On a side note, ‘I see Paris I see France, you guys look like idiots, pull up your pants!’

    dolo54 blows minds and blows engines!

  17. @Histronic: okay idiot – tons of people have died touching the 3rd rail. It’s not heavily insulated, there’s just a plank of wood above it. All you need is a foot on the ground to complete a circuit, ever hear of grounding?

    dolo54 blows minds and blows engines!

  18. @rrbeck: I’d say the same thing. Do you know what kind of delays that would cause? Shit. Trains barely run when it drizzles. Imagine what blood and bone bits would do. She’s hefty, too. Big bonededness = big delayesessesss.

    Goof_Troop

  19. Shocking. (Almost)

    bacon117 – Escort Owner, Lover

  20. @G.O.B.: Come on!: BRING AMBALAMPS

    stoke™, now with more Alcon!

  21. @Histronic: The third rail on the NYC subway is insulated with a wooden plank sitting several inches above it. It would be quite easy to touch if you were lying in the tracks. Here is a good picture, NYC subways use the “top contact” method.

    Adam

  22. Is she driving a Camry framed vehicle?

    Tossed Mazda3hatch’s Chicken Salad all over Accord’s face with a plate of croutons and Bleu Cheese dressing

  23. @Histronic: I would be impressed if you went out and showed us.

    Mymoustache

  24. These Latin lezzies get so carried away. She must have broken up with some cute little dyke-for-a-day.

    Smithcorona

  25. @kazillion: And jumpers become floaters who invariably get stuck under the wharves. They do not smell so good after a couple of days in the Bay, believe me.

    SnarkTard

  26. This woman trying to commit suicide should be paddled at least four times after being hugged and shit for her family. Like come on, some people have to go to Saks, go to a Cafe, or get out of work early to visit their young mistress. She could have ruined all of their plans.

    chelseafc19

  27. “go die somewhere else!” love it!

    thatgirlinnewyork

  28. “Go fucking die elsewhere bitch, i’m a late for work!”

    Don Servillas

  29. @Histronic: Your lesson can also be demonstrated to great effect with the good old smoke alarm battery. Touch one prong with your tongue and… no, nothing. Touch the other prong with your tongue and… nope. But touch both prongs with your tongue and.. BzzzZZzzzZzZzzt! Yowwooooh!

    On second thoughts, don’t try this at home kids.

    ★ɹǝqʎɔ

  30. @LillithFlair – a close second was “Go die elsewhere, man!”

    BWow

  31. @ScottyB: And no amount of amber lamps would be able to stop the leakin’.

    G.O.B.: Come on!

  32. @aliwanwan: Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground!

    The thought came to my mind, too.

    G.O.B.: Come on!

  33. @lorrigirl: Like the damn service cuts haven’t eaten away at enough time.

    Knox Overstreet

  34. OK, I keep reading all of these comments about being electrocuted by touching the third rail. No you will not die if you touch the third rail. You need to touch the third rail and at least one other rail at exactly the right spot in order to complete the circuit and get electrocuted. It’s basic electricity 101 – kind of like how you connect a lightbulb to a battery, you need 2 wires to connect to the + and – of both battery and the lightbulb. It ain’t gonna work if you just connect the battery to light bulb with a single wire.

    Also, on most train tracks, the third rail is heavily insulated to prevent water/snow from causing a short-circuit. So the metallic contact bit might not even be accessible unless you put your hand underneath the third rail at some really odd angel.

    Histronic

  35. In San Francisco everyone complains every time there is a jumper on the Golden Gate bridge. Same goes in San Diego for the Coronado Bridge. Jumper traffic suuucks.

    kazillion

  36. @TheRant: I think it actualy only takes like 10 or 20. I know this, because my stupid dog chewed up a bottle of about 30 last weekend. He wasn’t trying to commit suicide though that I’m aware of; he just wanted to chew on something different than everything else he can possibly chew on.

    kazillion

  37. maybe she was convinced she was still dreaming?

    putch

  38. A hero saves an hero.

    dioskouris

  39. @Glum Cunt: Exactly. Very selfish. And it would have held up the trains. But if I just witnessed someone being ripped to shreds by a subway car, getting somewhere on time would be my last concern.

    lorrigirl

  40. Due to all of these MTA service cut backs this women’s life was saved. Had there been more trains in service, these good Samaritans would not have had enough time to scold, save, comfort and then beat the shit out of her.

    Nesbiteme

  41. I hate people that commit suicide, or attempt to, in the most selfish and inconvenient way possible. What about the poor train conductor who was just trying to do their job and you’ve just scarred for life? Or the thousands of people you’re delaying who have legit commitments to get to? Or the good Samaritans you’re endangering bc they want to help you? Cowboy the hell up and jump off a bridge in the middle of the night.

    MargaritaMurphy

  42. @Myrna_Minkoff: Oddly enough that’s when I stopped viewing the video too.

    #rubbernecking

    Mekklesack

  43. @lorrigirl: Not that it’s at all on the same level as seeing someone getting killed, or driving a subway train that kills someone, but I never “got” PTS until I saw a cat get hit by a car and live. That experience could’ve ruined those peoples’ lives.

    Glum Cunt

  44. In London it felt like there was a delay at least once a week “Due to a person under a train.” They would just announce that shit to everyone. It was awesome.

    holy.crap.a.tornado

  45. Oh Harlem.

    nikralm17

  46. @Myrna_Minkoff: Thanks .. it’s been about 10 years ago now so it’s not a fresh wound. Just another addition to the family mental illness story … bleh.

    funchefchick

  47. @larryfishkorn: Nah, I mean, he did it, it’s public record up in Toronto. I mostly felt bad for the conductor and all of the witnesses. I mean, if you want to off yourself at least do it in a way that does not traumatize so many other other people for life, you know?

    It was a little weird to watch that clip and all of the people just standing there, not sure what to do. I don’t know that I’d know what to do either even with my uncle’s ridiculousness.

    funchefchick

  48. looks comfortable.

    an easy mistake to make.

    Rob A

  49. @funchefchick: I am so sorry.

    Myrna_Minkoff

  50. @aliwanwan: With you.

    Myrna_Minkoff

  51. “yo, get the fuck up outta there. Do that shit somewhere else.”

    STEVE_H0LT

  52. @kicsikecsike: Not to mention all the people watching.

    Still, I imagine at the point where you’re considering suicide, being rational and logical are already out the window.

    Hope she gets the help she needs.

    Myrna_Minkoff

  53. @Tulos_Mullet: Well, you did click on it to watch it…

    addictedtopez

  54. Only in New York, kids.

    Cindy Adams claims the ™ on that phrase. By the time she is done with you, you’ll wish the train had come!

    TheKenoshaKid

  55. @funchefchick: I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll take down my comment if you wish.

    larryfishkorn

  56. If you even touch the third rail the shock going through your body is so intense that it blows all the extremities off your torso. Not a pretty sight.

    This was clearly a cry for help otherwise she wouldn’t have let them pick her off the tracks like that; she would’ve just jumped when the train rolled in.

    I think suicide is the easy way out and this is one of the worst ways to fuck up someone else’s life not just your own. The poor conductor would’ve gone through much worse depression for hitting someone with the train than this dummy feels while laying on the tracks.

    kicsikecsike

  57. @maude_flanders: Ahhh it’s 125th Street. THAT old standby.

    olivez

  58. @maude_flanders: 125th street. It flashed on the screen.

    whogoncheckmeboo

  59. Do or do not, there is no try.

    StonedAndDethroned

  60. @larryfishkorn: My uncle actually did that – waited for the train to come, then jumped down and kneeled in front of it. It was very effective – it took a month to ID his body. He was committed, I’d say.

    funchefchick

  61. Is it wrong that my only thought was “pull up your damn pants” to the guy that appears at the :26 mark??

    aliwanwan

  62. We can all agree that the lady on the tracks is crazy.

    But was the guy with the camera really just going to stand there and film someone’s gruesome demise? The fuck?

    Mirror neurons be damned.

    Tulos_Mullet

  63. “GO DIE ELSEWHERE BITCH”

    One Two Five…that shit’s my JOINT right there!

    rrbeck

  64. @olivez: that looks like 14th St.–Union Square (or maybe Grand Central?), I bet they’d have more on Google

    maude_flanders

  65. @Gnip-Gnop: She’s into Steampunk. Trains are okay, but electricity is too modern.

    jimstoic

  66. @dequeued: I hope you’ve talked to someone about this. Those aren’t healthy thoughts. Whether you have talked with someone or not, I hope you’re outlook on life has improved.

    RussianTaco

  67. @LillithFlair: a little while longer and it would have been “she leakin’”

    ScottyB

  68. I wish the video didn’t cut off just as the train was arriving.

    And I’ve been tempted to do that, when I was really depressed, only I would have just jumped onto the tracks and hugged the third rail.
    No way to survive that, and, it would probably be pretty painless.

    I’m surprised there aren’t more suicides in the subway, if you’re depressed, it can be so tempting when it’s right there…

    dequeued

  69. @larryfishkorn: WORD!

    tygzbg

  70. @DogsOfWar: Hahaha, favorite comment of the day.

    trojanjustin

  71. @AnnieGetYourFun: I see skater guys with tight leg pants that somehow hang off the butt.

    tygzbg

  72. Understatement of the day: “She buggin.”

    LillithFlair

  73. Anyone know which platform this is?

    olivez

  74. @DogsOfWar: No shit! I was saying out loud, to my monitor, “dude, quit waving the camera around! this isn’t Blair Witch, focus!”.

    secretagentman

  75. There’s too much naughty language in this soon-to-be snuff film.

    jles

  76. Why are people who are crazy often stupid as well?

    ink

  77. Improve Everywhere strikes again. For once it was actually kind of funny.

    CM_Wang

  78. Worst steadicam operator in history. Or at least since ‘Husbands & Wives’.

    gramercypolice

  79. @lorrigirl: She would have been an hero.

    mr_bannana

  80. Fuck her. If you want to kill yourself, just eat fifty thousand Tylenol. Don’t ruin a motorman’s life just so you can get to mouth off in public.

    TheRant

  81. Why not just lick the third rail?

    Gnip-Gnop

  82. @poppedcollar: replace “Bryant Park” with “Union Square” and we were thinking the same thing

    bobdeuce

  83. @lorrigirl: You mean it would add precious time to get where everyone was going.

    People got shit to do!

    Splitskies (aka bananaballs)

  84. She needs to be helped to safety, and THEN have the shit beat out of her for doing a stupid stunt like that. Grow a pair, and jump in front of the train once it’s in sight, and don’t jepardize the life of someone who’s actually brave enough to help you. Or, better yet, get some help and stay out of the subways.

    larryfishkorn

  85. Daaaaaaaaang she gets close to that third rail. Train could have been redundant.

    Dave J.

  86. Is it bad that my first thought was “please don’t be union square! I want to get home!!”

    poppedcollar

  87. @lorrigirl: She was buggin

    BeefFajitas

  88. “She buggin” was the best commentary. I can’t add to that.

    femme-bot

  89. There are horse sized rats down on those tracks. There must be a better way…

    lamey007

  90. I don’t have a soundcard, but I saw at least three pairs of low-hanging pants in that video. My god, it’s an epidemic!

    AnnieGetYourFun

  91. The train is THERE, just beyond the platform. They must have been warned and stopped short, but where are the cops?

    7seventeen

  92. That’s why I don’t go north of 14th st, yo.

    a nice pair of slacks

  93. C’mon bitch, get the fuck out. You gotta love NY.

    Pretty selfish of this person to try to kill themself like that. It would ruin everyone’s day to see that happen.

    lorrigirl

  94. I’d hate to be her son. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine the scoldings?

    goddamnitwhyiseveryusernametaken

  95. This is a Dar… WIN.

    mmmcookie

  96. That guy is brave. Those trains come fast.

    MisterHippity

  97. *shudder* when reality gets too real…

    the_mayoress

  98. People need to start carrying tripods. This shaky camera work is getting old.

    DogsOfWar

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