We enter the scene at the moment after impact: Lindsay Lohan‘s shiny black Maserati drives away as a baby begins to cry. A paparazzo says this shaky video depicts Lindsay Lohan hitting a stroller, then fleeing. But does it really? More »
Did Lindsay Lohan Hit a Baby in a Stroller with Her Maserati? [VideUhOh]
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That’s no baby, it’s a dwarf. Now I’m outta here for a drink. Enjoy your weekend.
once
@87CapriceEstate rooting for the New York Liberty: Hispanic… Spain
Latina… Mexico and below
BoozieMagillacutty
@Mr_Sives_Remotoc: Everyone. Duh, that’s why you the article. It’s also why even CNN now has a gossip column.
Composition_C-4
@K5ING: Correct, I rest my case, your honour!
morepowerigor
@BoozieMagillacutty: I use the term Hispanic since most I know do not know Latin.
Isn’t Hispanic politically correct?
87CapriceEstate rooting for the New York Liberty
@La Mareada: Like Paris Hilton did?
CompWizrd
“They say I’m crazy but I have a good time
I’m just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life’s been good to me so far
My Maserati
Does one eighty-five
I lost my license
Now I don’t drive”
Kobolowski Tires
Who cares?
Mr_Sives_Remotoc
What is this, Madlibs: The “Celebrity” Pageviews Edition?
“Did [A-list, recent B-list, multiple or dead C-list] [dramatic and probably illegal act] with [tool or accomplice used]?! OMG!!11″
I don’t know, did they?! Something like “Rumor: Lindsey Lohan hits baby stroller with Maserati” would be pretty typical of what we’ve seen lately. If the rumor turns out to be wrong, well, that’s probably why you leave the doubt in the headlines because as hilarious as “Lindsey Lohan does nothing but screw up career” would be as a headline, it probably won’t get views.
But this is the sort of thing that we can see all around us in the tabloid section…easy to do, easy to invent if you need to. “Did Dom Deluise bed Tara Buckman and Adrian Barbeau?” In the novelization of Cannonball Run, yes, sweet Victor gets taken upstairs by both of them, leaving JJ McClure as the unexpected wingman. Off-camera? Probably not, but you’ll have to follow the jump for that ‘not’.
Based on views alone, it’s pretty clear this is a Gawker crosspost (like the Facebook promos), and kudos for disclosing that, but really, is the mere fact that a car MAY OR MAY NOT BE involved enough to warrant this, vis a vis the Awesomeness Manifesto?
Sure doesn’t seem awesome…for example, yesterday, you could’ve asked the question “Did Piloter just get run over by a F-650 at Walmart?” The answer to that was “No, but the bed whizzed by closer to my lips than I hold my cheeseburgers”, but because I’m not famous (yet) it’s hardly news. By relevance to our car-cultist nature, neither is this…
If I’m way off base here, and this is relevant, important, cool, interesting, otherwise fits the Manifesto, for the love of the flying spaghetti monster please explain why–I have no problem admitting I’m wrong, I just want to have the error clearly explained.
Piloter
@Roberto G.: Well enjoy your trip!
worthless_cos
@K5ING: No shit, enough is enough
paulmer
Video is obviously doctored… The “blurring” we see is actually a wave effect that any adobe video editor has. If it was low res, we would see pixelation, not a high quality shot with weird wave effects…. I’m tired of Lohan too, but this just seems lazy…
palindrome
Interlace fail on this video. Nauseating to watch… come on folks! We livin’ in 2010, we got solar powered message highways for cryin’ out loud! [solarroadways.com]
de-interlace, or edit with the correct field order…or discard a field! sheesh!
HammerheadFistpunch
First, I don’t give a flying fig about LL. Second, I don’t need to see a story about some stalker trying to make a name for himself with a video that doesn’t show squat.
Ray… you need to be in the office more often to keep stories like this from being published on Jalopnik.
K5ING
Dumbass. Around here stalking will get you no friends, a restraining order, and half the trailer park/countryside/people pissed at you. Get a real job instead of making people’s live a living hell.
Guess Keanu Reeves was wrong when he said it was full of cans.
First attacking Muslims then Lynching Hispanics with a seatbelt.
/Shakes head.
This is as bad as getting pistol whipped then tied to a fence post.
87CapriceEstate rooting for the New York Liberty
@worthless_cos: This for sure will be the next COTD. And it’s not that I’m happy of it. But now my mind is into my tomorrow trip to Singapore and Australia, so be it.
Roberto G.
Lindsay is a rock snorting baby buggy bumper!
Scandinavian Flick
I think we’ve really hit the bottom, here. A nurse pushing a peaceful baby in his stroller, and some troll asking with nuisance: “You’re OK? you’re OK?”. And these should be some news? Please, just respect my family jewels.
Roberto G.
Yeah you look so good baby, I like it, I like it, I like it
You know what I been talkin’ about honey
It’s a nice dance, we gotta a nice dance goin’ here
Now what you gotta do, I’ll tell you what you gotta do
You got to pretend your face is a Maserati
It’s a Maserati
It’s a Maserati
It’s a gettin’ hotty
It’s a Maserati, Maserati, Maserati
It’s a fast one too man, that thing’s turbocharged
You feel like a little fuel injection honey?
I’ll tell ya about it, I’ll tell you about it
I gotta get that hood scoop off, shine and shine and buff
I’ll check out the hood scoop
I gotta buff it up, buff it up, buff it up, buff it up, buff it up,
Yeah, shiny now baby, heh heh heh
You’ve been drivin’ all night long
It’s time to put the old Maserati away
So you look for a garage, you think you see a garage
Wait a minute, Hey!, there’s one up ahead
And the damn thing’s open
Hello! Get in there!
worthless_cos
@BadKarma: I’ll take in the kitchen with the candlestick, 2-3 months.
Buckus
And then she ATE the baby. True story.
Buckus
Will we ever hear the end of this stupid, stupid girl?
O2BCd8ed
What a waste of a beautiful car…..
alysson
@PintoBeans: Relax, she was probably just a nanny.
GildaLily
A Maserati?! Seriously? Nothing flashes “serious young actress just trying to get ahead after hitting that rough patch” than driving one of those ultra rare and most expensive of luxury cars. It seems a mega dose of hubris awaits the point Lindsay finally bumps right into it.
justusethisone
@Xylo: Yes. Maybe baby was a Mean Girls fan… or just finds squandered potential deflating.
SavetoFavorites
@tastylikes: Because brown skin+not caring enough to want to get into some protracted legal battle someone (LiLo or not) means you obviously weren’t born in this country! Sue baby, sue!
Elemnop
@watertiger: right? The woman didn’t seem to be walking any faster nor did she look freaked out. I call bullshit
AmySparkle
@BadKarma: we just have to hope that when it happens(because it will)it doesn’t happen in LA again and it happens somewhere that has law enforecement and judges that don’t bend to the whims of celebrities.
Deadp00l
Anchor baby! Somebody call Glenn Beck!
PintoBeans
2 things:
-Freelance paparazzo Brayan Jaime tells Radar he was stalking Lohan
Was anyone else throwing side-eye at how nonchalantly this got tossed in? “Yeah, we were totally stalking this chick when…”
-The lady pushing the stroller said “we’re fine,” but Brayan Jaime suspects otherwise: “She was in shock and Hispanic so she was scared.”
Well she said she was fine, but she’s Hispanic, so who knows, right?
knightgee
@interrogator_chaplain: No, but seriously. There is literally nothing to see here.
crowds
@Christine Hnath: She should repark the car. I could understand if she was doing super short park, but anything over 10 minutes and that parking job should be fixed.
TheClap
@doit2julia: I sense a comment of the day at this:)
carobot
@m4ximusprim3: For everyone of them you run over, you get a deduction on your insurance premium.
Rephilb
Why does everything lead me to conclude that paparazzi are mostly scum and responsible for more invasions of privacy than the NSA? They’re certainly far less discrete about it.
tongue-tied
LiLo owns a Maserati? I’m impressed.
tongue-tied
L.A., celebrity bubble-brains and automobiles have such a beguiling relationship with one another. Is it something in the water or the gamma rays?
Jakob Creutzfeldt
@La Mareada: If I were driving for LiLo, I would want to be paid in cash, up front. The girl be broke, after all.
7 of pi
People, calm down. It’s called a “bumper” for a reason.
JalopyUno
that phrase from the reporte< “She was in shock….” means, that he was trying to be racially sensitive, when in reality it came across as racially insensitive, you know sort of like the statement “some of my best friends are black”.
Nicole Patton
@LittleMsMuffet: HOW DOES THIS WOMAN STILL HAVE A MASERITI???
olivia2.0
Look, everyone, stop it!! Now that Pat O’Brien has written LiLo a warm and heartfelt letter – one fame whore to another (or is it coke whore? it gets confusing) – LiLo is ready to loofah her life back to a positive place. And besides, she’s in “Machete”, so there is some redemption in that. I mean, any gal willing to let a body double pose nude for her and then kill people dressed as a nun can’t be all bad. And, to reiterate, we can’t underestimate the healing power of Pat O’Brien. So, back off!
sensitivitycop
This video is more conclusive.
BullfightsOnAcid
She’s Hispanic so naturally that means she’s illegal? Wow, that’s racist…. if she was truly hit then she’d be on the ground with blood evidence and an injured child, no? Maybe I’m just focusing on facts, this video doesn’t show anything except a lady crossing the street (she’s not limping and the stroller has all 4 wheels which were supposedly broken off), anyway, hope whoever paid for this farce thinks he’s got his money’s worth….
Hopefully Lindsay will see she needs to prevent this sort of incident. Hire a driver, different car and lay low for a while too. Also, how about holding out for movies that actually show you can act (like u used to) and not one’s where you’re naked and have sex…. that might not be a bad thing for a change. Some psychological help might be called for so you could see why you need to put yourself through stuff like that too…..
We all had terrible childhoods, THEY did it to you, now don’t you do it to yourself. Love yourself more.
quintabelina
@DaisyGamble: I’m always ascared!
Sweet Fluff
@Christine Hnath: Truth. I’m surprised LL even uses parking spaces. I expected to see her car sideways through a few handicapped spaces. Or just right on the sidewalk by the door.
DaisyGamble
@LLisCool: It means she’s illegal and is ascared they’re gonna catch her and her anchor baby!
DaisyGamble
@NobodysFault: That’s the weirdest sentence I’ve read in a while. Why don’t they just come out & say she was Hispanicking?
doit2julia
@SavetoFavorites: Sad for Lindsay?
Xylo
I think it’s time for Chris Crocker to work up some tears and tape a “Leave Lindsay Alone!” video.
CarpalDiem
Whether or not she hit someone here, let’s face it; it’s just a matter of time before she’s back in the slammer for something or other. We might as well start taking bets as to when, and maybe why.
BadKarma
Why the hell is LL driving herself anywhere in any kind of vehicle? The first step her people should have taken after her release is hire a driver for a boring SUV/minivan with dark tinted windows in the back. Papparazzi could follow her everywhere for the most boring shots of the vehicle going the speed limit, stopping at lights, and not endangering pedestrians.
La Mareada
@BAngieB: Ah yes, BUT! What if she kidnapped the baby and didn’t want to be caught on tape? Maybe Lindsay did a good thing by hitting the baby with her car? She brought attention to this horrible woman, I’m telling 4chan.
tastylikes
Maybe the baby’s merely crying because he’s sad at what she’s become.
SavetoFavorites
If it did happen, the video timing is a bit unfortunate. Hopefully this won’t become a trend (film children as celebrity walks by and just yell “are you okay? are you okay?”).
Steverino Begins
@Pessimippopotamus: ha! my shallow-ass thoughts exactly… my second thought? how the fuck lindsay manages the payments! she probably got it gifted to her, the ungrateful biatch.
chefkayce
I want somebody to introduce Lilo and Ryan (Real World) to each other. Oh the dastardly hijinks…Mayhem!
portia-potty
@Sir Winston Thriller: Ha ha! Excellent! I could even see her living in the back storage room of a discount liquor store.
portia-potty
@Sir Winston Thriller: Yes. Amazing.
tervalicious
nanny. fired.
shermanleopard
@Christine Hnath: Then again, I’m not Hispanic, so not a lot scares me.
Christine Hnath
Maybe I’m just a female driver, but that parking job doesn’t seem photo-worthy bad. Ok, she’s over the inner line of the space, but it’s not like she’s pulling a Lucille Bluth or something.
Christine Hnath
@tastylikes: Like that woman is the mother.
She’s the nanny.
BAngieB
@see fox run: No, she isn’t. Pretty girls don’t go to jail.
BAngieB
Cue the children’s clothing line: LiLo hit me with her Maserati and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
HarlotPrude
Christ. She’s Patsy Stone without the style or humor.
Sir Winston Thriller
“After snorting a line, I looked up and saw these fabulous pink sunglasses on this small child…”
redcave
We’ll they don’t even have this so-called hit on camera. If it was that big of a deal don’t most stop lights have cameras built in? That would be an easy way to tell if this is true, or other passerbys. Seems like lilo might have gotten a little to closer for comfort but not hit the baby stroller. I imagine if she was driving that fast and hit the stroller there would be no baby left to scream unmercilessly.
duetoprivacy
@Kaiser-Machead v.2.1.1: Or New Yorkers can just mail TMZ their spare bed bugs.
Exclamation Mark Violation
Ive had cars turn off side streets on to main streets and almost hit me and my kids in the crosswalk. Needless to say I lost my shit. I was screaming so loud at them I was heard in the store 20 feet away. If someone had bumped my stroller and then drove off. They would find me chasing after them. Bc I would be in such a rage that I would have superhuman speed. God help them when I caught them.
Slikiez
@LLisCool: I think he’s trying to be… sensitive?… by suggesting that people who are illegal immigrants are more likely to be the victims of unreported crimes because they’re afraid of being deported. Except that he doesn’t quite grasp that “Hispanic” and “illegal immigrant” are not quite the same thing.
Breamworthy
What is the world coming to when people like that can drive a Maserati?
siuol11.2
That’s a lovely Maserati.
Pessimippopotamus
In shock AND Hispanic?!?!?
Honestly, I just kept watching the woman in the foreground, with her stroller, very confused, thinking “I don’t see a Maserati…” Sigh.
cigarettejuice
@Zulkey: Precisely. You don’t know real fear until you’ve been Hispanic.
dollarmenu
“She was in shock and Hispanic so she was scared.”
Is fear something that is unique and dehabilitating to the Hispanic people?
BiBiVirtue
@see fox run: Silly fox, celebrities have their own set of laws. They don’t do time or suffer the same kinds of consequences like regular folks.
But to answer your question: eff yes, she should be in jail.
rubyruby
@2xBlue: My son rode in his stroller until he started school at 4. He was too slow/small for long walks. I walked/walk alot so at least mine did/will. Depends on the kid and what needs to be done also. There is no set age when you kick em out and tell them to hoof it.
Slikiez
@Arken: I’m Hispanic, and I live in fear of being called a Latina.
BoozieMagillacutty
We don’t know the full extent of their injuries, if any, because while the woman said everyone was fine, she was Hispanic.
destor23
@LLisCool: You know Hispanics. Always scared.
Zulkey
“She was in shock and Hispanic so she was scared.”
The fuck does that even mean?
LLisCool
@Citizen Kang: Really it is a foreign idea for me to defend LiHo but innocent until proven.
LessLikeYou
“She was in shock and Hispanic so she was scared.”
There is just so much wrong with this statement but most obvious, being in shock does not always equate to being scared.
NobodysFault
Hey that’s no baby. It’s a tiny pap with a camera!!!
CupcakeMonster
@LessLikeYou:
I imagine most hit-and-runs do not have video evidence. Are we to take those any less seriously? I realize it’s inconvenient, but then I imagine most hit-and-runs are inconvenient for the victims.
Citizen Kang
Aaaaaaannnnnnd she’s back.
TabithaIapetus
@LessLikeYou: That’s what you get when you walk out of jail and into a Maserati. Celebrities sell their privacy for the amount of money they make.
fuckingoldman
The mom is obviously an illegal and doesn’t want to to make a big deal about this because then she’ll get deported (or beheaded in Arizona) so there LiLo goes, getting away with another crime. I bet if she did get in trouble she’d just claim diplomatic immunity and go back to hitting babies with cars she can’t afford and shouting “I am Lindsay, Queen of Scotch!”. It’s sad, really fucking sad.
tastylikes
@Citizen Kang: He says it was a hit and run but where is the film of that? Kind of convenient that the filming doesn’t start until after that…
LessLikeYou
@samjenkins: Sorry I was just seeing if I can still comment. Haha Lindsay.
samjenkins
Test
samjenkins
How does this woman still have a drivers license!?
LittleMsMuffet
@watertiger: right? and the woman was walking away normally, not running or looking at all shaken. I’m calling bullshit.
AmySparkle
@BorderRat: I don’t see the person who posted this here making any assumptions that the hit is a reality. Quite the opposite, actually. The story is not the possible hit, but the fact that the story was blown way out of proportion, obviously. You are being a little harsh.
ninles
Absolutely nothing happens in that video. What’s the point?
malted
@Kaiser-Machead v.2.1.1: it gets better mileage
Poppymann
@BorderRat: Hi Lindsay!
interrogator_chaplain
@JesusMexico: Just went to TMZ.com. I need to shower immidiately. Feel so dirty. Scrub the shame away.
JesusMexico
This reminds me of that Mormon bubble wrap pseudo-porn. “I’m going to show you a sexy vid of a car crash, except I have to edit out all the parts where the car actually, you know, crashes. Use your imagination.”
Solomon Grundy
@zenvelope: The idea of a paparazzo actually capturing something useful is pretty ridiculous in itself anway.
Madfall
Maybe she wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get through the intersection if she didn’t know that stopping would result in her car being surrounded by fucking scumbags with cameras.
It should be legal to run over paps if they’re standing in the road.
m4ximusprim3
The most important detail here is that LiLo had the good taste to go with a Maserati Turismo, and not the godawfully fugly Quattroporte.
Oh, something something something paparazzi full of shit something something. Same ol’ same ol’. I want someone to unleash a pack of badgers in the TMZ office. Whenever those people talk, I’m fairly certain cute and fuzzy things burst into flames.
Kaiser-Machead v.2.1.1
@LessLikeYou:
Hey…I think the bigger issue, if true, is that Lindsey Lohan did a hit-and-run which is a very serious crime. He may have no credibility to you, but that doesn’t mean he’s lying. If Charles Manson saw a hit an run I’d take it seriously.
Citizen Kang
As for why Jaime didn’t call the cops, he said, “I should have. I’m not sure. I didn’t want to get involved.”
Unless it meant getting my name out there. Justice? Meh. But I’m available to stalk people. Call me.
JesusMexico
This is why Lindsay should not have a license. Isn’t she supposed to be in jail right now?
see fox run
Apparently, Jaime didn’t go to the cops as he “didn’t want to get involved”, or as it’s more commonly refered to, “filing a false report”, which is a crime.
TurdBlossom
I’m gonna go with “No,” Maureen.
But whatever draws hits to your dumb fucking story and earns you a paycheck.
BorderRat
Ironically this was one of those dead Mexican babies filled with cocaine that we all heard so much about in D.A.R.E. lectures. So: net positive!
Also it looks way more like she ran a red light and stopped short of the stroller, scaring both mom and baby. I know a lot of Hispanic people are sort of taciturn, especially in the presence of cameras or spooky legal situations, but I really really doubt that anyone of any ethnicity would let someone drive a sports sedan into their child and afterwards just sort of shake it off.
athodyd
That “baby” seems a little big to be in a stroller. What is she, five?
2xBlue
I’m sure the twit will Tweet a denial. If she did do it, which it doesn’t look like she did to me, it will be the woman’s fault for breathing.
EhBologna
Nuthin’ to see here, methinks.
spence900
All I see is a beautiful Lincoln Continental Mark VI sedan, and some brat crying.
Angry Picard
Since she was Hispanic she clearly wasn’t saying nothing to a guerro with a camera. Totally not racist.
En0s1
We’re not saying she did, we just want to know why she won’t deny it.
mr_dude
I know what Jaime means. I’d be scared if I was Hispanic too.
Arken
Lohan needs to move to Siberia for everyone’s sake.
JesusMexico
Anyone who does this for a living has absolutely no credibility in my book.
Apparently it is okay to stalk someone as long as you are just doing it to defame, exploit their relationships, or damage their reputation.
LessLikeYou
me neither.
jonesygal
Hate when people make shit a big deal when its not. Though, I mean, if she did hit the stroller it’s obviously a problem, but before you spout out bullshit have proof.
Doople
bogus. given the constant p’razzi surveillance on her life, no way is there no video if it really happened.
zenvelope
You mean today?
kitebro
I don’t even see contact in this video.
watertiger