As if it’s not enough that air travelers are now prone to random micturation, one San Francisco airport visitor was snapped Thursday publicly engaging his in-pants entertainment in the view of other travelers, including a few children. After he finished, United probably tried to charge him a $35 handling fee. More »
ahhh much better……
-Amateur
As long as nobody tries to make this into another (insert word here)-ageddon I don’t care.
Bubs
Drinking some wine,..eating some cheese,…catching some rays…
/I just ride around in em,..I don’t know what makes them work man…
DON_BOT
Oh come on, who HASN’T punched the clown before a 13 hour flight to Taipei?
Hart88
i thought this key was for Bernie Ecclestone’s daughters room
Joe Volpe
Justin, this is not classy
stayingclassy
Well said. On the other hand, this guy might just be a pervert.
ttyymmnn
Stop whining. This post is funny. Jalopnik is not a Chilton & Haynes manual; they can have non-car stuff sometimes.
zziro
He just saw the picture of that eBay Porschrolet…
mytdawg
At least he’s not engaging the autopilot
Dyslexus
There’s nothing in that photo you couldn’t see in any airport departure lounge.
BingleyJoe
What in the name of hell is this bollocks? Couple of things are wrong with what I’m seeing here.
Thing #1: This crap is on Jalopnik, not a place I would think to find pictures of men playing with themselves.
Thing #2: MollyMcIsaac via Instagram thought it a brilliant idea to take a picture of this and no doubt post it on a facebook page with a LOOK AT THIS !!!11111!!! tag instead of delivering a swift shoe to the idiot’s pods.
Seriously, what in the name of hemispherical combustion chambers is going on here?
Sort it out Jalopnik.
t_s
Nice. You can’t fly with blue balls.
zziro
I could’ve read any other “news” source to find out about a public fappacation at an airport. Or I could’ve just looked anywhere, and seen how society as a whole is a constant dissapointment.
B-Sel; Curmudgeon in training
WTF?
Seriously, WHO gives a SHIT!
JalopJeff
I’ve logged 62k air miles this year in and out of SE Asia. I’ve spent an enormous amount of time jet lagged out of my mind, sitting in an airport, waiting for a flight that doesn’t leave for another 3 hours. They’ve already chased you away from the free samples of duty free liquor. At both locations. You just want to get on the plane, put on the noise canceling headphones, take an Ambien, and pass the fuck out for the next 14 hours. At some point, you lose all consideration for your fellow human beings, and about 50% of your grasp of reality.
I don’t condone it, but I understand.
Festering neon distraction
Hilarious picture. It needs meme faces on it.
zziro
PS9
awesome, because I don’t visit this site to read stories about cars/planes. come on…
sk-89
“After he finished, United probably tried to charge him a $35 handling fee.”
interrogator_chaplain
As attention-grabbing as this headline and image is, I can assure you, very few of us want to see a middle-aged Asian man pleasuring himself plastered across their computer screen. That is not Planeopnik.
Planopnik was the great thread on the Spectre. Planopnik is reporting on a man restoring a Bf-109K. Planopnik is the Convair B-36 Peacemaker, in all it’s Cold War glory… six turning, four burning.
It’s the only SAC anyone here wants to see. Thanks!
True-Blue
What a nice thread to open Jalopnik to first thing in the morning.
Jstas
He is trying to come and go at the same time
FastForward
I thought of posting the exact same post. But I can make do with a +1 to your thread.
This is neither jalopnik-worthy, nor planelopnik-worthy.
Tentacle, Dutchman, drives French
Well the only real issue is the next hand this guy shakes… can you imagine if it was YOU?
zekestone
I could do without the picture, but some of the comments are priceless.
ncasolo
Maybe he’s a Volvo exec on his way back to China? You can’t blame him after hearing the great news.
[www.marketwatch.com]
Autojunkie
What’s up with you guys?! First a crappy story about some gay controversy and then this? Really?! I like your blog but this is a bit silly.
ApexRally
Well, obviously, he’s a car enthusiast because he’s in an airport. And he probably drove in a car to get there. And planes are there.
GV_Goat
Woof woof woof!
Thats my other dog impression!
claiborne
I think he’s just trying to look more American…
RoachSwatter
Ok, I’ve never complained about what kind of stories you guys run on the front page but in oppo our rule is NSFW = link or reply. Not a big splashy image right up front. Especially during work hours.
This is funny, no doubt. I laughed…but there’s a giant picture of an old Asian guy yanking it on the front page.
BrtStlnd
Our species is screwed. Why was it the guy’s first reaction to take a picture, in stead of just yell, “Hey! What the hell are you doing? This is a public place and there are kids everywhere. The washrooms are over there.”
oldraven
Because, AUTO-erotica!
VeeKaChu
I think im turning Japanese.
86Lx5.0
Can we get some car or plane stories that isn’t as weak as this? Did the demographic here change to 8 year olds?
awwwcrap
#Faplopnik
#Wanklopnik
#Spanklopnik
#Selflovelopnik (Okay, now I’m just trying to hard. Like this guy…)
Scandinavian Flick
#cotdnominations
I hear they charge for them as luggage.
Slid Pissed Tossed Mazda3hatch sideways into a effin DITCH
Cool post, bro!
ppiddy
why the fucking hell is this posted on Jalopnik?
leave this shit on fleshbot
#wtf
snap_understeer_ftw
That guy had just read this article in the Guardian.
Kate’s Dirty Sister
Yeah. That’s the only problem with the new Virgin America terminal.
rad_mike
“…We would now like to pre-board families with small children and those kneading special equipments….”
redbadge
Flight Desk: Mr. Wang on Jet Blue flight 80085 please report to the flight desk at gate BJ-69. Mr. Wang please report to the flight desk at gate BJ-69.
I guess he was determined not to fly with Jet Blue balls.
ncasolo
ttyymmnn
Wanking in public? When did Jalopnik turn into a hipster blog?
Kuang
Nope.. nothing to do with planes.. just a guy jerking it in a terminal.
These kind of posts are bullshit.
Arthritis Guy
Swine
Nicely played with a Kelly’s Heroes reference
Fodder650
Whatever brah, like you’ve never had one of those days and just sit down and put your hand in your pants.
#brofist
whatclutch?
After all the foreplay with the TSA, Jim was simply too worked up to just board his plane. So, with a few minutes to spare, he finished what a TSA agent had started just 20 minutes earlier.
MacAttack
Players with yourselves club,..
/tell em Telly sent ya…
DON_BOT
Gone away. Back in one hour, when the home picture has changed.
Revoloeva
BrtStlnd
how do you not report this!?!?!?
Xaoc
nibby560SEL
Whaaaaat the fuck, hoss?
BrtStlnd
or a gel.
[www.funnyordie.com]
Clown Shoe Pilot
He never would have to do this if he just took Jet Blew instead.
toracer32x
#cotdnominations
buzz killington is going John Matrix up in here
Reminds me of Borat.
Also, ew.
Jeb_Hoge
…
Swine
Question is, will he greet his mom with that hand?
X-cchannel-M
And after they saw what was in the clear plastic container, they sent him over to the TSA for a proper manhandling….
OohErMissus
No problem, he doesn’t strike me as the Peter North type.
RushinRussian
“OhHHhh, me love me long time.”
Mark the Canadian
He’s just read Jalopnik.
X-cchannel-M
“If I close my eyes, no one can see me.”
SarDeliac
This really has nothing to do with Jalopnik or our beloved Planelopnik. It’s horrible, who would want to see this?
bradyb
Sure they charged him $35 but he could only bring 3 ounces of liquid onboard
Fodder650