Vanity Fair Compares Lincoln MKS To Cunnilingus-Mouthed Walrus [Blogging The Auto Bloggers]

Jalopnik super friend Brett Berk recently penned a wisecracking story comparing ten well-known cars to “adorable” animals. The Lincoln MKS made the list, although we’re not quite sure how walruses are adorable. [Vanity Fair] More »

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40 Comments.

  1. Wasn’t really prepared for the “Wilford Brimley after 9 hours of cunnilingus” line I just read while I was on a conference call.

    C0vetous

  2. @Nürburgring: Varsity Jalop: That comparison is an insult to Bullys. Really, I can’t believe the average Vanity Fair reader would appreciate this article.

    Alfisted

  3. Boy, and my wife complains about my mustache!

    geschmidtt

  4. So that’s why no one uses Vanity Fair as a reference….

    Blackened2k6

  5. @cobrajoe: HI-OOOOOOOO!

    pj134

  6. Well shit now the Genesis Coupe is adorable, and that makes me want one even more. D’aaaaw who’s an endangered car, you are!

    underwear-ninja

  7. I can understand maybe one of these, and that’s be the Nissan…maybe, but that’d really be the only one.

    Nürburgring: Varsity Jalop

  8. @sandbeige: zing!

    B-Sel

  9. It is indeed noticeable, they both share traits besides the obvious front grill too. The Lincoln is padded from floor to roof in rich leather, the walrus is made of rich leather. Both are rotund. Both can be seen in the company of top hats. The walrus gets better MPG though.

    MikeTheRipper12

  10. walruses are awsome..not cute..just awsome.

    Dirt Pirate

  11. It’ not nice to make fun… poor Walrus can’t help what he looks like!

    Buster Brew

  12. Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.

    VeeArrrSix

  13. After all the attention the CTS-V has received, it’s nice to see the MKS get some lip service.

    Alfisted

  14. When I see a picture of a walrus, I look at its eyes and they always seem to be saying “WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS POKING OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!1!21@!@!3312

    stinkycatfish

  15. @Alfisted: nice

    Sl8ter13

  16. @Sl8ter13: I think you mean cooch, cooch, kachoo.

    Alfisted

  17. i am disturbed by the lack of oosik mentions

    ne1245

  18. Colonel Angus?

    em_esuma

  19. @sandbeige: Very nice!!!

    Vavon

  20. @spiegel1: Haha that was the first thing I thought of when I saw the headline.

    Bengal55

  21. @Jackie: Bwahaahaha. Thats hilarious and completely wrong…. :D

    RaptorConner

  22. @sandbeige: You’ve said quite a mouthful.

    cobrajoe

  23. Walrusses are known for their long *ahem* johnsons. So I will be very disappointed if I find someone who isn’t tall and named Johnson driving an MKS.

    cobrajoe

  24. @spiegel1:

    MillenniumFalconGT

  25. @spiegel1: I tried loading a pic of just the Hyneman, but Nibbles ate it.
    I think all men should have to grow a mustache\goatee combo like that at least once.

    TheAntiCat

  26. At 32, I haven’t seen a cunnus with hair on it since I was about 21. And if I ever saw one with hair like that I’d probably still be in my closet, naked and crying while holding myself in the fetal position.

    Whitetrashsteve

  27. @sandbeige: I lol’ed. I wish I could promote this.

    ManBehindTheDesk

  28. @TheAntiCat: Fucking dammit Nibbles! Thats 4 pictures you’ve eaten! *loads .44 Magnum with rat shot*

    TheAntiCat

  29. So MKS, not Paul, is the Walrus

    ManBehindTheDesk

  30. “and for having a mouth that looks like Wilford Brimley after nine hours of cunnilingus.”

    See, Wilford? One or two hours is fine. But nine? And now you got dia-beetus. Serves you right.

    /goingtohellfast

    Jackie

  31. That isn’t a Walrus, this is a Walrus.

    TheAntiCat

  32. Shouldn’t this story be on Jezebel?

    CJinSD

  33. I do see the resemblance.

    …shit, wait.

    spiegel1

  34. In some circles, Wilford Brimley is known as quite the cunning linguist.

    sandbeige

  35. Giggity.

    Hamtramck Homme

  36. @LUV_TRUK: They do advertise it heavily, but other than that it isn’t really.

    gman1023

  37. Well no wonder Melissa Etheridge chose him to father her baby.

    Ash78, quitting jobs again

  38. I’m not quite sure how the MKS is well-known.

    LUV_TRUK

  39. I am the walrus….coo coo ka choo.

    Sl8ter13

  40. aww, cunnilingus.

    wagons plz

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