Say you’re a banjo-pickin’ young stud a-hankerin’ for a nice new Cadillac Cimarron, but just can’t come up with that fat inflationary Cadillac price tag? No problem! The General has an Olds-badged J Body just for you! More »
What a Small Car Can Be, When It’s an Oldsmobile: 1982 Firenza [Classic Ad Watch]
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@tonyola: Looks like an ’80 Firebird that was left in the dryer too long.
TheAntiCat
@gray totoro who was the king of the ring but gave up that title.: “In a world where GM could not build a small car to save its ass, comes The Firenza! Doomsday is coming to a dealership near you!”
TheAntiCat
@tonyola: This Fiat???
Vavon
@tonyola: I knew that would draw someone outta the woodwork.
I should know better, my first car was a 79 Trans Am.
Never heard of the Dodge.
TheAntiCat
@tonyola: Its like an RS Escort met the Mad Max Interceptor… And then shrunk a bit in the dryer.
7shades
@MikeTheRipper12: Its frightening to think people thought the clothes and cars of the early 80s were awesome. Than again, I WAS born in 1982.
TheAntiCat
@tonyola: Dodge FireArrow?
tonyola
@Vavon: The Monza was the base platform for the Holden Commodore down under. I probably would have liked them a lot more if we had the 2 door liftback version… Alas, we only ever got the sedan.
7shades
@tonyola: Olds Starfire?
tonyola
@TheAntiCat: welcome to the BPYSAF.
MikeTheRipper12
@TheAntiCat: Pontiac Firebird?
tonyola
@MushyHeirloom: Make that Skyhawk!
scottcom36 has Weekday DT’s, Weekend OD’s
@Whitetrashsteve: The early Skyhawks were fairly bland (but still better looking than the Firenza). However, beginning in 1986, Skyhawks could be had with hidden headlights, full sport trim, and 165-hp turbo engines. A bit more exciting, and the Firenza never got the turbo.
tonyola
@MushyHeirloom:
Ah, the Skylark. When did the Hatchback go away? Had not seen one in (years?) months then one day I saw a rusty 1986-1991 while at a luncheon.
A few Buicks are rebadged as to read F*CK.
87CapriceEstate
@gray totoro who was the king of the ring but gave up that title.:
TCMcQueen
That’s not a Firenza, THIS is a Firenza!
Vavon
That’s not a Firenza, That’s an Americanised Viva!
Vavon
@tonyola: And it could be had with a cool “droop-snout” nose.
tonyola
@Goggles_Pisano: That’s not a Firenza, THIS is a Firenza
gray totoro who was the king of the ring but gave up that title.
I was half expecting the narrator to say: “In a world…” at some point.
gray totoro who was the king of the ring but gave up that title.
@87CapriceEstate: I have, but not for a long time. The Pontiac (J2000/2000 Sunbird/Sunbird, and eventually Sunfire), despite going through more names than serious updates, was seen as more sporty (especially with a turbocharged Brazilian overhead-cam variant of the platform-wide ’122′ ‘junkyard engine’) while the Buick Skylark was seen as better value due to the cachet that the Buick name held. There was a Skylark hatchback of that era around town for years; it was badged as a “BU CK” toward the end.
MushyHeirloom
@mackenzie: To be fair, the earlier sunfire was not an unattractive car, but this has to be the most forgettable of the J-cars. My grandfather had a wagon as a company car in the 80s when he came out of retirement because he was tired of sitting at home looking at grandma and watching the price is right.
Whitetrashsteve
@mackenzie: I’ll keep my leather jacket, thank you very much. I’ve only seen old folks wear tweed.
TheAntiCat
@Goggles_Pisano: That was Pontiac Canada’s clone of a Vauxhall Viva. The REAL Firenza was a Vauxhall-badged coupe.
tonyola
Gotta love those Oh-so-trendy 80s alloy wheels.
joeisuzu
Any car with “fire” in its name, should be avoided.
TheAntiCat
@TheAntiCat: You’ve moved past being a leather-jacket wearing Chevy driver, but can’t yet afford the Cashmere jackets preferred by Cadillac drivers.
mackenzie
@stephdumas: My French is a little rusty, but I’m positive he said, “you’ll die from embarrassment driving this Olds-man car, so head to the beach and drown yourself.”
TheAntiCat
I always partial to the Buick variant …
iantm
@MikeTheRipper12: Where do I sign up?
TheAntiCat
@mackenzie: If you wear tweed, buy an Oldsmobile? So what are they implying?
TheAntiCat
I’m a banjo pickin young stud and I resent this ad. I’ve now formed a group called BPYSAF (Banjo Pickin Young Studs Against Firenza) Do not bring down the wrath of BPYSAF.
MikeTheRipper12
@underwear-ninja: The ad guys might as well and come into your home and play hacky-sack with your, err, “hacky-sack”, while saying “we’ll stop when you sign on the dotted line.” How about Audi’s new ads, making people feel like idiots for buying a BMW or Benz? Blow me Audi, I’ll buy *whatever car* cause I like it!
TheAntiCat
@tonyola: Well I am sure there is somebody out there saving obscure cars like these. I know there is at least Ford Tempo Fanatic.
87CapriceEstate
That’s not a Firenza, THIS is a Firenza!
Goggles_Pisano
@TheAntiCat: Or, as I explain most car commercials to my friend, “this car gets gas mileage and safety stars, now buy it jackass”
underwear-ninja
@87CapriceEstate: They never sold well even when new and no-one bothered to preserve them.
tonyola
ah, a rebadged Cavalier. Looks alright, but I do not think I have ever seen one.
87CapriceEstate
@Real Tomsk of Genius: Those Asconas weren’t very good either. They have almost completely vanished from the streets in Europe.
Vavon
@mackenzie: Well, yeah, the later Sunfires were pretty ghastly, but by J-car I meant the older 1980s-vintage cars. The Pontiac J2000/Sunbird looked better than the Olds.
tonyola
@tonyola: As the former owner of a sunfire, I say it’s not the _least_ attractive. It got pretty bad near the end.
mackenzie
@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: Very astute. I can’t believe how little is said about the car.
The ad in one sentence:
“if you go out on saturday night in a tweed jacket, then head to your oldsmobile dealer.”
mackenzie
@Vavon: Actually the Firenza used the GM J-body (You’d know it as the Opel Ascona C.)
If we had gotten an Americanized/badge engineered version of the Monza/Senator, that would have been the bee’s knees. But we didn’t, so, boo…
Real Tomsk of Genius
@Vavon: The Monza was a bigger and far more luxurious car, though. I wish we had gotten the Monza in the US – it would have been great as, say, a “small” (by US standards) premium Buick for 1978.
tonyola
I think the Firenza actually doesn’t look bad at all!
Vavon
@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: Modern car ads don’t do much to explain why you need to buy it, other than just to piss off Mr and Mrs Jones.
TheAntiCat
I was told that Cadillac built the Cimarron on a bet\dare. Any truth to that guys?
TheAntiCat
That Firenza looks remarkably much like an Opel Monza. Can you imagine that that was an up-market coupé over-here in Europe!
Vavon
Yay. The least attractive and most forgettable of the J-cars. This platform was the most pernicious example of GM’s badge engineering – the only one that was shared with all five car divisions. Even the X-car-compact based 1975 Seville was different enough to warrant its own platform code (K).
tonyola
@stephdumas: one more French-Canadian ad. [www.youtube.com]
stephdumas
More Firenza ads on the table, this one aired in Quebec
stephdumas
It’s new, it’s small, it’s an Oldsmobile, and there’s cash back.
Nothing that explains why this is a good car and you should buy it. Genius.
Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
The often-forgotten J-body, the Firenza!
Actually, for ’82, I don’t think it’s a bad looking car at all, reliability may be a question mark, but it’s from the early 80′s
…and my vote would be someone trying to be more upscale then a Cavalier, then someone who can’t afford a Cimarron, not that there’s really any difference between the 3 at all, but hey, at least this one is a hatch!
Age of Aerostar